The thing about life is that no matter how long you’ve lived it you still will never master it. Just when you think you have it figured out you get a curve ball thrown right at you, and you’re left trying to piece everything together. I’m a person of thought – I think I can contribute a bit of this to being a Pisces – who finds myself constantly overthinking situations and dreaming about the outcome that I desire. A few failed dreams later and I’ve realized that those outcomes don’t necessarily come into fruition the way I imagined it in my own universe, but one thing is for certain every outcome I’ve been faced with I’ve managed to survive and that’s all that matters.
When I packed up and moved away from home to begin my new job I expected something completely different. I expected to be welcomed and provided guidance as I was accustomed to from my previous employer. Little did I know that this new company I came to work for operated on an “every man for himself” agenda. Coming from a place that stressed the importance of teamwork and building relationships with your coworkers I was very much in shock. I’ve always heard every lab is different, but up until now I’ve been blessed with great experiences working in different labs. I felt like I was sent back a decade working in outdated facilities, instrumentation, and not receiving proper training because I guess when they budgeted to purchase a new ICP-MS they didn’t think to budget training costs being that for one the instrument is expensive and two you have to be very meticulous when working with it.
Then you had the people. Coming in I noticed tension between individuals to the point where they did not even speak to one another but rather communicated through a third party. That type of petty I was not used to in the workplace, on social media yes, but definitely not in a professional environment. The thing is that no one higher up thought to resolve this being that it made the workplace an uncomfortable one. Then I was met with straight arrogance and a “know it all because I’ve been with this company for 5 years” attitude. That’s what really made me realize that I cannot be with this company any longer than a year. The work environment just wasn’t healthy. I didn’t feel welcomed at the company and included in company affairs like my position called for.
The last company I was with was full of chemistry and chemical engineering PhDs yet no one positioned themselves above the other. Everyone had a mutual respect for the next person and they enjoyed sharing their knowledge with people like me – new graduates interested in continuing on to pursue a PhD. Then I came to this new company where homeboy had a bachelors and felt like he had to retain as much knowledge as possible to himself for job security. Boy bye. I had to make it clear to him that he did not hire me, I was not brought on to be beneath him, and he better put some respeck on my name.
All in all, this environment did nothing to spark my interest in what the company was doing, and I found myself just coming to work, getting that check, and waiting out my time to move on to something better. I do feel like God positioned me there for a reason and a few months later I realized it. He wanted something greater for me, and he saw that I was getting content in life – mainly because that check was nice. Even people around me could see that and were constantly reminding me that I had other goals that were set. If it wasn’t for this job and me being fed up I probably wouldn’t have applied for graduate school, get accepted into the programs, and begin my journey towards a PhD this spring. I would have stayed content in my life. I know a lot of people don’t believe in the phrase “things happen for a reason”, but I truly believe that it was God’s will for me to work for that company so that I can become more motivated to work on me and further my success.