The day we were forced to adult. My girls.
Looking back at my years in college I can say that I have truly grown and come to understand myself better in so many ways. For one I learned what true friendship really is. I believe that in this day and age the word friend is used too loosely. People will meet one day and an hour later they are best friends. I never understood that logic. I believe that a friendship is just like any other relationship that you may have with your relatives or your significant other in that it truly takes time to manifest.
At the beginning of my college career I found myself “friends” with a lot of people, and in all honesty I found myself having to tolerate them every time we were around each other. You had the individuals that complained about everything; ones that didn’t have a mind of their own and swayed wherever the wind blew; you had the ones that will laugh and smile with you to hide the fact that they weren’t really trying to help you succeed; you had the ones that thought so highly of themselves and called everyone else’s flaws out but never acknowledged their own. College really opened my eyes to all of these people, and it took me until about the end of junior year to realize the toxic relationships I had created. I found myself being unhappy when sitting amongst these people whether at school events or even the dining hall. Every time some of them spoke I instantly become annoyed, and at times it even showed in my face. This is when I knew I had to make a change in the company I was keeping. Was I just calling these people friends to have someone to eat lunch/dinner with in the dining hall? I never felt comfortable disclosing personal information to them to begin with because I witnessed how they handled information from others so why exactly was I still hanging around them?
Before I knew it my friend count slowly dwindled. When certain people came around I had nothing to say in their presence because I didn’t feel as though a conversation with them was worth having. I started excusing myself from the group and basically made it clear the small group of girls that I felt were really my friends. Once I made this change, a lot changed in me as well. I found myself a lot happier. When my friends weren’t around I would eat lunch/dinner by myself although the other girls were in the dining hall at the same time. I felt a feeling of happiness just being alone and not having to tolerate people just to have people to be surrounded by. I don’t even see how people have tons of close friends to begin with. First of all, it’s a lot of work juggling all of those friendships. Maybe it’s me being selfish but I am quite fine with the few I have. As long as my circle is tight it doesn’t matter to me how big it is. I refuse to have to deal with people and be annoyed all for the sake of having friends. I know what I want in my circle and if you aren’t it well we can be associates, wave and then carry on.